Q: Dame Edna what do you do on stage that is so special?
A: I sing, I dance, I give advice to audience members, I glimpse from the stage. It’s group therapy really, shrinks recommend me!

Q: Are you alone on stage?
A: Not exactly, the audience is my support act. I even invite selected audience members on stage, dress them up in more glamorous clothes than they ever dreamt of owning. I’ve also got my beautiful Ednaettes, scrumptious girl dancers and stunning costumes that the men folk would really appreciate if they could ever take their eyes off me. Then there’s Wayne Barker, my handsome award winning musical director on keyboards, who will send you out of the theatre singing.

Q: Will the show make us laugh?
A: We guarantee at least one major laugh per half minute and one falling off YOUR SEAT howling and crying every 3 minutes and 23 seconds. These statistics have been compiled by the Royal British Society of Theatrical Statistics.

Q: Is your show topical?
A: Every show I do is tailored to the city I am playing and audiences feel I’ve actually been living in their midst for years. I hit the nail on the head every time with zillions of up to the minute local references.

Q: Is your show suitable for the family?
A: There are no four letter words or gross obscenities in my show. It’s not for infants, but children love it, seniors adore it, gays revel in it, red-necks worship it, and nice people like you come back again and again. It’s intelligent, it’s caring, it’s funny and compassionate. It’s the show America needs more than anything else right now.

Q: What kind of people have enjoyed this show?
A: Do you know who I mean by Whoopi Goldberg, Goldie Hawn, Henry Kissinger, Michael J. Fox, Steven Spielberg, Michelle Pfeiffer, Nelson Mandela and Cher?

Q: What is your message?
A: The message of laughter, which is the best weapon against world tension that was ever invented.

Q: What do you know about laughter, Dame Edna?
A: I wrote the book.

Q: What is missing in the theatre today?
A: What is missing in the theatre today more than anything else I think is "Vitamin E," that's Vitamin E for Edna. I'm the secret enzyme that brings laughter and happiness to people and goodness me, doesn't the world need it? I, of course, have fallen in love with America and America has fallen in love with me. I want to bring as much love and laughter as I can to the people of this magnificent country. It's the Australia of the future after all.

Q: What will people find in your show? Why should they see it?
A: People should see my show because they will find something there. The spooky thing they’ll find is themselves. A lot of people wonder around like ghosts. They don't have any identity, but when they come to see me in the theatre, goodness me, the gratitude that pours in with my post, with my mail everyday. People almost crazed with gratitude write and they say, "Edna, I've found myself at last." Not that this is a religious show, but in a sense it’s spiritual because it brings…it brings a spooky old resilience to people's lives. I'm a very proud of what I do in the theatre. Doctors recommend me. Do you know there are a lot of people who don't have tickets, they have prescriptions to my shows. They come in gloomy, sad, sometimes close to certifiably mad and they leave whole.

Q: You live such a fabulous life - how do you keep up?
A: I'm very lucky being a Megastar. Fondly enough, when children are born, generally there is a father pacing around chain smoking and the nurse would come in with a little bundle. She'd say 'It's a boy' or "It's a girl.' When I was born my mother was lying there panting away in bed and in came the matron with a little bundle and it was a lovely child, beautifully formed with purple hair. My mother said, "What is it? What is it?" And the nurse said, "It's a Megastar!" That's the first known use of the word in the language. Now, I've been lucky in my life. I began as an ordinary housewife in Australia. Not many people realize I'm Australian, but I am. I'm honored that your president said I can call myself an "honorary American as far as I'm concerned, Edna," he said. In the Oval office too, with all it’s memories. Well, I'm very rich, silly for me to pretend that I'm not extremely rich. Would I be wearing these costly jewels for just a silly old television show if I wasn't absurdly wealthy? But it hasn't spoiled me. That's what people like about me. I'm hands-on, I'm cutting-edge. I'm in-your-face. I'm the sort of person that even a plain badly dressed woman could identify with and that's saying a lot.

Q: How do you stay so beautiful?
A: A lot of people say I'm a beauty. I disagree. I'm not traditionally beautiful. I've got a lovely bone structure. I have a beautiful personality, some men find me raunchy. But I don't think of myself as a beauty anymore than I would have thought little Celine Dion is a beauty or Madonna. In many ways you can say they are plain, ugly even, hideous. But I'm beautiful inside. I think its what I radiate that people love. There's an inner beauty there, and it's recognized, and it's rare in a comedian because fundamentally I'm in the business of making people laugh and making people happy. I don't set out to do it. It’s people, they just can't help laughing when they see me and I'm not embarrassed by that. I think it's rather sexy. As a matter of fact, my husband used to laugh. In fact, on my honeymoon he never stopped laughing.

Q: Who has been your favorite leading man?
A: I've had a lot of leading men. I used to like Bert Reynolds when he was in his prime. Larry Hagman is an old favorite of mine, bless him. And I think if it wasn't for his wife, Larry and I would have been an item. I'm sorry. I'm also a close personal friend of Mel Gibson. He's quite short. I tower over him of course. But then lying down you don't notice differences in height. Russell Crowe is someone that I helped in the early days of his career. I didn't succeed in teaching Russell good manners unfortunately, but he's a lovely boy and what a talent. What a talent! Another leading man I particularly like is Tom Cruise, but of course when he split up with Nicole whose an old friend of mine, I had to take sides, I'm afraid. And I tended to take the part of Nicole. I'm sorry. It's just one woman to another. Nicole Kidman is an Australia girl. As a matter of fact when she was an acting student, I coached her. I taught her everything she knows. I would have taught her singing to, but there it is. She's managed on her own.

Q: Who has been the worst leading man?
A: The worst leading man I think that I've ever had, who it…it was Jack Palance. I don't think many of our younger viewers could have heard of him, but he was once a considerable star and he had a certain something, but I had not a satisfying experience with him. Not his fault, not my fault. It's just that we didn't click, our chemistry was wrong. But then can we get it right every time. I generally think I do, but I feel more at home with the audience as my leading man. I like to work alone on stage, but I'm never really alone because I have very big audiences. It's hard to get into my shows because they're so popular, but to have found a new audience in the United States of America is a miracle for me, to be loved by Americans. People say, "Edna, we understand every single word you say. There's no problem with comprehension." We have no cultural differences." I think I have brought Australia and America even closer together. They've done some research and archeologists have found that America and Australia were once joined. Isn't that marvelous, it's incredible. There are a lot of woman like me who have inhabited Australia for centuries and their remains have been found in California. They've dug up fossilized glasses just like mine and there are cave paintings in Malibu showing women with strangely purple hair, my ancestors. You see I've been to the states before, millions of years ago and now I'm back. Isn't history a spooky old thing.

Q: Are you and Madonna still at odds?
A: A lot of people have said that Madonna and I are at odds. We're not. I don't know the girl very well and we have different audiences - equally large, equally large. I'm wondering though if Madonna will still be the big star she is today at my time of life. One of my great successes of which I pride myself is that I have lasted. I have shelf life. I think that's the word. I have legs. As a matter of fact, I've got gorgeous legs. They're insured for skillions. I don't know what part of Madonna is insured. Perhaps the gap between her teeth.

Q: What is the most exciting part of your theatrical experience?
A: The most exciting thing that happened to me in the theatre was when I stepped on the stage on Broadway a couple of years ago and the entire audience, hard bitten old Broadway theatre goers rose to their feet. All of them, except one who only had one leg, sadly. He rose to his foot. But it was an exciting moment because I realized I'd conquered America, simple as that. I said, "It's not enough to be a star on Broadway. I want to get out there where real Americans live." My financial advisors said, "You don't need to do that. You're a rich woman, retire." "No, this wonderful country needs me." They said, "But Edna, it's tiring on the road, visiting these cities." "Not for me. I get tremendous adrenaline from the applause from the ovations, from people accosting me in the street asking for beauty tips, tips of all kinds and I try to help. I try to put something back. I'm a lucky woman, I was born with a gift of caring and sharing and entertaining people and I think there must have been a little note attached to that gift when Dame Nature gave it to me. "Put it back Edna." I’d like to call my next show "Edna puts it back!" That's was what, fondly enough, the very words I said to my husband on our honeymoon night.

Q: What was the deal with Ally McBeal?
A: Ally McBeal was an exciting interlude. It was another symbol really of my complete acceptance in America. I was on stage in Los Angeles one night and someone said, "oooh David Kelly, E. Kelly who writes Ally McBeal and The Practice and Boston Public is in the audience with his beautiful bride Michelle Pfieffer." I knew Michelle because she had come to me a couple years before for acting lessons, but I never met David Kelly. Afterwards they came back and of course they were all over me like a rash, bless them. And David said, "Can I write you into my show?" Well, I'd never seen Ally McBeal, but I said of course. I met Calista at Overeaters Anonymous funny enough. Bless her. So I knew her a little and I introduced her to Harrison Ford and look where that's gone. But I was in the show for a whole episode, and then a series. Originally, I was just a guest and they moved me into the series and funny enough the series has now come to an end. I hope I had nothing to do with that. They made me play a role. I'm a very gifted actress. I can submerge my personality. If you watch me in Ally McBeal you won't recognize me. You'll think, "Who is that brilliant actress." Until someone will say, "You know, that's Dame Edna." I'm a woman of a thousand faces.

Q: What makes your show work each and every night in each and every city?
A: When I come to a new city I do my homework. I find out what's going on, whose the mayor, what's the latest scandal, whose the local glamorous lady, a little bit about local politics, happenings, receipts, beauty spots. No other show does it, they just wander on stage and do their thing. When you see me in your city in America, you will think I've lived there all my life because it's my business to know. I tailor what I do to my audience. I pay them a compliment. They after all have paid me the compliment of coming. The least I can do is to give them a personalized evenings entertainment specially made for them and something too that will never forget. I've been at this business, this spooky old show business for many years and I've learnt a thing or two along the road. People have said, "Edna, I saw you 20 or 30 years ago and I've never forgotten it." Some people bring sophisticated children to see me. These children! The rest of their lives really are an anti-climax after seeing me. Some people get quite depressed after I leave town, and follow me around. I've got a lot of groupies. Incidentally, I love group bookings. I like the idea that people when they come to see me will go to the trouble of forming a large group, a huge group and then they can not only enjoy me but enjoy each other's reaction to me. I sometimes, if the group is large enough, meet them afterwards. I love to have a few photographs taken. I'm sometimes a generous enough to give them three and half minutes of my times. After all, that's me.